we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
