I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
