You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
