Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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