Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
