Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
