I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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