Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
