I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
