i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
