Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize