he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
