I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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