But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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