living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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