that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
