Already got asked if we're dating
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
