i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
