I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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