CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
