I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize