It's Friday. Sex?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i've created a new STD.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
