just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
