i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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