Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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