question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
