I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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