no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
