Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
