Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize