shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
