he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
