Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
