id be glad to
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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