i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
