i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
