420 ftw
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
