It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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