I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize