he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
