sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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