I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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