dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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