soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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