he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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