butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
