im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she told me i tasted like america
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
