it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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