carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
