Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
