Christians are straight up FREAKS
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize