I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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