This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
