You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
