You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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