i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
