Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
