New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
