so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I think my moral compass just broke
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
