it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
