so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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