I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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