don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize