I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
