I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
false alarm, still single
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