..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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