I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
