You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
