I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
