Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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